is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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