i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
