Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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