Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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