you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
