Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
