He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
