And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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