Got a toothbrush?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
