Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
A bitchslap is in order.
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