So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
