Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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