This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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