is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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