thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
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As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
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with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
how does that bad decision feel?
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