it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
