You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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