all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
