She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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