ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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