Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
