I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Someone signed my nipple.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
