My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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