ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
