then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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