Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
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Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
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We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So much rum. So many feels.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize