im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
