Already got asked if we're dating
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
