i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
