I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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