remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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