we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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