Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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