he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
