Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
did you just send me my own nude
My ass is underappreciated
Randomize
