It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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