Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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