Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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