I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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