pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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