i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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