super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
