She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
