so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
