I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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