i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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