You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize