Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
