He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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