how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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