Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
