I feel like my teeth are sweating.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
