My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
