that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
