maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
