I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
