My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
