The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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