I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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