we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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