Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
