Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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