I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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