There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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