She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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