ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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