I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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