how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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